If you are in a relationship with a control freak you are not alone. There are literally millions of women in this situation. It can be degrading, depressing and leads to a poor self esteem. This type of behavior can end up being life damaging.
The main reason women tend to stay in a controlling relationship is because they think their partner is going to change; they have hope. Hope is not a good strategy here because control freaks are what they are and they learned it long before you arrived on the scene. Changing the control freak is next to impossible without professional help.
When relationships are hot and heavy in the beginning, it can be easy to "over look" the pitfalls of continuing on with a controller who is most likely always abusive, at least emotionally. However, as the pick sky and glitter wear off and reality bares its ugly head, it quickly becomes obvious that something is not right, even to a casual observer.
He was so overly attentive in the beginning; that in itself can be a red flag. Behind too much attention can be lurking a need to control others; he must have something to control like a snake needs something to bite. Too much of anything in the beginning of a relationship should put you on guard.
There are always things that controllers do that are obvious to an outsider, but, to the person involved with one, they are in denial about the reality of what is really going on. Because the relationship may be new, they literally cannot see the forest for the trees and often make excuses for controlling behavior.
Some of the red flags are:
- They call or text you multiple times a day
- They have a jealous streak which gets worse as time goes on
- They criticize you
Controlling relationships are always a form of abuse whether it is what he says or how he treats you. You have to watch your behavior so that you don't upset him. When he gets upset, it is always your fault. With no exit plan in place, you feel stuck and begin to get depressed, trying to put on the happy face for the outside world.
Learning how to detect controlling and/or abusive behavior is a must if you are to steer clear of those types; they are everywhere. Because his negative behavior comes on slowly, before you know it you are right in the middle of a very bad scenario indeed. This is when you need to start seriously thinking about moving on from this relationship as fast as possible; it won't get better.
The main reason women tend to stay in a controlling relationship is because they think their partner is going to change; they have hope. Hope is not a good strategy here because control freaks are what they are and they learned it long before you arrived on the scene. Changing the control freak is next to impossible without professional help.
When relationships are hot and heavy in the beginning, it can be easy to "over look" the pitfalls of continuing on with a controller who is most likely always abusive, at least emotionally. However, as the pick sky and glitter wear off and reality bares its ugly head, it quickly becomes obvious that something is not right, even to a casual observer.
He was so overly attentive in the beginning; that in itself can be a red flag. Behind too much attention can be lurking a need to control others; he must have something to control like a snake needs something to bite. Too much of anything in the beginning of a relationship should put you on guard.
There are always things that controllers do that are obvious to an outsider, but, to the person involved with one, they are in denial about the reality of what is really going on. Because the relationship may be new, they literally cannot see the forest for the trees and often make excuses for controlling behavior.
Some of the red flags are:
- They call or text you multiple times a day
- They have a jealous streak which gets worse as time goes on
- They criticize you
Controlling relationships are always a form of abuse whether it is what he says or how he treats you. You have to watch your behavior so that you don't upset him. When he gets upset, it is always your fault. With no exit plan in place, you feel stuck and begin to get depressed, trying to put on the happy face for the outside world.
Learning how to detect controlling and/or abusive behavior is a must if you are to steer clear of those types; they are everywhere. Because his negative behavior comes on slowly, before you know it you are right in the middle of a very bad scenario indeed. This is when you need to start seriously thinking about moving on from this relationship as fast as possible; it won't get better.
About the Author:
He says he "needs space" for a while. If he is a control freak find out why today from an expert advisor.